Yellow world!

i can’t believe what just happened today. this life sucks. my morning started really really fun and exciting and suddenly my luck flipped upside down. my first class (writing) was ok, then i had a blast with this korean mom, another student of course. after those two classes, i went straight to my third classroom as i always do. but unfortunately someone was in there. a teacher whom i barely know.

ME: where is your room? (calmly; not-happy-not-mad face)
TEACHER1: there… (pointing to next room)
ME: are you not gonna use your room? (blank face)
TEACHER1: we’re having class here (2D) because my student doesn’t want to stay in 2E because it’s smelly and hot.
ME: Okay.

then i thought everything’s fine after that short talk. eventually, somebody is also using 2E so i had to ask the other teacher (B) to transfer… then B informed me that my student won’t be coming so i offered her to use ‘na lang’ 2E. she said no, but it’s fine naman with her.

after a few minutes, TEACHER1’s student (korean girl) went out looking for me. i was so shocked when she approached me coz she looked like she wanted to punch me or something. she was blabbing and pointing her finger at me in front of some teachers and a student…obviously she was throwing a bitch fit and i was left blank. i was not afraid but rather surprised since i know i didn’t do anything that would offend her.

Student: Are you teacher Oje?

ME: Yes. Why? (confused look)

STUDENT: If you have problems with me, tell me. blah blah…

ME: Are you mad at me? (shock mode)

STUDENT: I was the one who told teacher to transfer… yaddi yadda…

ME: I definitely have no problem with you, it’s okay if you use that room… again, i have no problem with you… i’m actually so surprised… (well, shock was a better word!)

her english wasn’t that good so i can hardly understand or remember the things she was blabbing about… that confrontation was clearly out of place… in fact, it’s really a stupid act… well, i would say that it’s more of the teacher’s fault… she need not tell her student about something so unimportant… because as far as i am concerned, i wasn’t being sarcastic when i asked her about the room… i wasn’t even mad or offended if they used the room without informing me… because in the first place, that room was assigned to me and my student, so they’re not supposed to use someone’s room without prior notice or permission… i was clearly the victim, not them… and then, after the student confronted me in front of other teachers and a student… and the student shouldn’t have come in to the picture since it was a teacher to teacher thingy… i was not at all mad at her, it’s more of ‘i got irritated with the petty behavior of her teacher’…

after their class, i talked to both of them… i told them i was completely shocked about how the student acted. i didn’t know that the teacher didn’t like me asking about them using my room.even if they used the room, i won’t mind at all.it’s actually okay with me. they can use it as long as they provide me with another one to transfer to.i didn’t even ask them to transfer. in fact, i gave way. so i really see no reason why the two should be mad at me.

the teacher said i was being sarcastic when i said ‘daw’ na ‘why don’t you just use your room?’ and she got so pissed off with me. well, the fact is that i didn’t say that. i said ‘teacher, where’s your room?’ and i was polite when i asked her that. and i’m not the type who would act so mean to someone i barely know.it wasn’t my fault if she’s half deaf… as far as i can remember i was being polite.i calmly asked her, and i didn’t blame her or something.

they aren’t really my type of people, and we’re not even friendly friends. so even if they are still pissed with me, i don’t care at all. i have explained my side, and it’s up to them if they believe me or not. i was aggravated but i said sorry sincerely. i was sorry not because i admit i did wrong, but i was sorry because things happened that way. but i still think that teacher is so petty nobody loves her but her mom. she should have handled things professionally. instead, she told people about the incident and made a big deal out of things. yes she also said sorry to me, but in a really mean tone. but she will be gone for a month starting tomorrow so it’s now more of a ‘thank God i won’t see her face on Christmas’ drama.

i didn’t feel guilty about things because i know i’m a good person. that teacher and that student don’t know me so they can’t judge me like that. i am never mean.i can be sarcastic, yes, but i will never be rude to someone especially if they are my workmates or students…

things have to happen… maybe this is just one test to know if i can still face problems with poise and grace… speaking of poise and grace, i tripped on the stairs this morning…waah…another blooper… shoot, i’m counting bad lucks today! this issue, really, is nothing compared to the problems i have in my job as a sangguniang kabataan  chair. i’ve seen worse days, and i am now too immune with humiliation and misinterpretation and misunderstanding. i’ve worked with too many kinds of people since i was 15 years old. my 5 years experience in politics taught me how to face challenges and solve issues. as far as i know, we have apologized to each other and that we are OK now. i just hope people would be ‘humans’ enough to respect my being quiet about this petty issue.

i wrote this blog just so i could release the negative energy in my body. this is one way of cleansing my spirit from the dark cloud that urges me to cut a teacher and a student’s throat and to bleed them dry. okay, so that’s just a joke. hehe.

whoa… i can’t believe i have abandoned this thing for a month now… okay, so maybe i’m not really the blogger type but i’ll try  to make a way to keep this thing going since i am jobless and i have all the freedom in the world to waste some shit on this part of the cyberworld…

time for updates galore…

i graduated from my call center agent finishing course last friday, 20th of october… it was fun… but not as fun as eating chocolate while cozying alone in a hammock by the beach somewhere in samal island… we dined out, 20 of us, at jo’s inatô along quirino st. ’twas a fine place… there was a homey feel about it that i ‘loves’ it with all my hungry heart… maybe because it was originally an old dilapidated house, sorta like the spanish cribs back in the 70s or earlier… or because it looked exactly the same as my greatgrandparents’ house where I used to play a lot when I was still a charming tot… after dining, we also went to a ktv bar and sang our hearts out… ate arlynne even dropped some tears in the middle of a very emo song… haha… such a softie…

friday morning i had my final interview for that call center agent job i so wanted… it went on fine but i mistakenly headed for the door when i heard the interviewer said "done" but didn’t actually meant i had to go… so i went kinda crazy after that coz it showed how nervous i was so i sat back to my chair… i was so embarrassed that i wanted to choke myself to death for that blunder… then he went on saying that i should call come monday to inquire about the status of my application, then he finally let me go and warned me to be careful i might trip due to my nervousness while i head out for the door… i just hated myself for being so fidgety in that interview… it kinda looked like i was so eager to finish that interview in a flash so i could simply run out from that room feeling scared of being eaten by a humongous monster in the name of allan… hey, i’m not trying to be rude… i just imagined… haha…

so today’s a monday… and i called 6-11 global services at 9am but unfortunately the HR officer is out of town, in panabo for a job fair… they advised for us, the applicants, to call on Wednesday instead… shoot, God knows how thrilled I am to start the training today… but hell, I can’t… I hate waiting you know…

my mom’s going to zamboanga tomorrow, and dad’s camping with the boy scouts somewhere in matanao… he’s a teacher, he’s got young boys to baby-sit… well, i haven’t been in any of those places yet… in fact, I have not been to any places that is not in the vicinity of davao region… poor me… but I do promise to one day go jet-setting and just enjoy the world on my own… but for now, I think I’ll be contented with browsing on the internet… at least I know where ibiza, maldives and palau are… it really pays to be inquisitive…

mom and I went to gaisano south and sm this afternoon. we bought some things for her trip. we bought boy scout uniforms for my dad too. me, i busied myself buying a new underwire brassiere and 6 cute panties… yes, it’s weird to actually let everyone know that I got some new underwear… but it’s not like it’s odd to be hygienic and to change undies every once in a while, right? Haha. putik! this feels awkward.

i think i must end this entry now. wahaha. Notice how I started blabbing about the call center thingy, moving to jet-setting, and ending in underwear shopping? punyemas, paki-“connect the dots” na lang!

P.S. i love star wars but i wouldn’t dare wear a thing next to looking like c3po. anyway, hooray to balenciaga for this futuristic creation!

These are the most wonderful people who bothered greeting me on my day! through SMS, that is.

Sept21

(10:54am) JENSEL: Hi ate oje,jensel 2. Nakitxt ra q. Hehe ADVANCE HAPI BIRTHDAY. Best wishes and shower more blessingz. Miz yah. (ano daw?shower more blessings?yan na ba ang new term 4 water?)

(5:42pm) CORINA: Lesbiana! Reply2 pud daw gamay?! Can we watch ths SATURDAY around 4? We’ll eat muna or what. Pwde rin sunday. Just text. kami ni miko bayad. Bday gift. Well?! (So… bribery! pilitan na ‘to! hehe.Hmmm… it’s a date!)

(11:47pm) MARCELA: MAKI2SUYO PO… Hapi 20th bday oje!:) hope u’r njoying ur lyf mor dan evr.. may God gv u mor dan wat u xpct..:) jst kip on blivng..:) meriest bday 2 u!:) luv yah!:) -em2 (mor dan wat i xpct?… ok, im now xpctng a dennis trillo, does that mean God’s gonna give me an orlando bloom?! hope so!)

Sept22

(12:00am) CORINA: Happy birthday! Syempre di ka pa daw nagreply noh?! (kasi naman la pong load!)

(12:31am) MAKKI: Happy bday, strawberry! Godblez u… Ayaw ka satisfy sa pgka SK lang ha… Aim high! Kanang kagawad na pud… Tpos brgy chair hantod sa mahimo kang mayor.. Okiez?! (waah, thank u 4 dat ambitious advice!)

(12:38am) DWA: Hapi bday oje! Mwah (Thanks dwa, mwah!)

(12:40am) DIMPLES: Happy Birthday. (hmmm… short and concise)

(12:48am) JAYPEE: Happy Birthday! Godspeed.. (isa pa ‘to)

It was weird how these people bothered texting at midnight… Someone must have forced them… i wonder…

(6:28am) JOCEL: Hapy bday day… Wshng u mor bdays 2 cum. (tnx day!)

(6:41am) ALLEN: Hapi bday insan… (thanks inzan_couzin! miss u so much!)

(7:15am) ROCHELLE: Ji! Hapi birthday! Weeeh!:) enjoy ur day.. cguro by nxt wik ko na padala gift mo..xenxa na ha..:)   (that’s no problem dear, as long as it WILL arrive!mwahaha…)

(8:47am) EDEN: F birthday mo, hapi birhtday! Kng hndi, d hindi! Jeje.. Enjoy ur day gurl! Godbles.. (huh,sarcastic?! last year u gave me a bookmark w/ a note dated sept 23! but my bday was actually sept 22nd. baka-sakali na naman ba ‘to eden?!

(10:36am) CORINA to GG: Ganyan pala kagrabe ang social life mo.Patay.Greet timbad.Bday! (yes, wrongly sent! so this was how everyone knew…)

(11:06am) GG: oje mae timbad!…happy birthday!..(do i sound lyk gisugo ni lopez?..haha) ayaw pagtago,pgpakaon jd..hehe..:)  (well,gg, ganyan n tlga ang uso ngaun.pilitan!)

(7:12pm) JoyLyn: hi mae! Hapy b-day! sory tlga nkalmtn me! (that’s ok dahling!)

P.S. for those who remembered and greeted, i love you.for those who i reminded and greeted, pashneang bakekang kau! for those who were forced to greet, kill corina. for those who do not care at all, kill yourself!

Happy New Year for me!(uhmm, soon!)

I’m counting down hours before I officially turn 20. Oh my, I feel old!

Yesterday, a family friend asked,"Oje, when are you getting married?" And my instant reaction was, "What the heck are you talking about?! I’m just 19, just graduated from college, and don’t even have my own Mercedes yet!" It’s funny how people think that I’m tying the knot any day now. Before the gown fitting and sponsor hunting, will you please let me find my man first?! (Ang mga matatanda talaga walang ibang nasa isip kundi pagpapakasal! Mga pakyu!)

It’s sad enough to think that my baby days are over now that I’m marking my second decade on earth. And to bother me about wedding plans is all the more exasperating!

When someone asks me how old I am, I proudly say 19. Hey, we must admit that it feels great to be young and be thought of as naive. It’s a different thing when you’re already 20, you know. By that age, people presume that you’re mature enough to not depend on anyone and to be wise enough to make a firm and logical decision. I’m not saying that any person below 20 cannot do that but it’s just that it’s a helpful excuse at times.

Well, what can I do? I can’t stop time or halt the calendar date from changing!

I wanna be 19 forever. But I want to clear that out, I’m not asking to die at 19, okay? It’s weird how the radio’s now playing "In the arms of an angel" by Sarah McLachlan. No, I don’t want to be in the arms of an angel at 19. Maybe at 99, though.

Okay, let those greetings come in. Call me, if you have my landline number. Send an SMS, if you have my mobile number. E-mail me if you have my e-address. Hug me if you see me in the mall, school, or street. Write a testimonial if you want. Make me happy. Do it now, I’m waiting!

since medyo hindi okay ang mood ko these past few days, i tried to treat myself to some sumptuous therapy. at dahil nga ang drama ng buhay ko ngaun ay "naagawan ng lalaki", at medyo uhaw ako, pagpasensyahan nyo na kung pagnasaan ko ‘tong mga magagandang hayop na ito. guys, girls, gays… meet daniel and dennis! yum, yum, yum! chaka ang world kung wala sila. cge, indulge!

i’ve just updated my profile. i placed a cute background in it that i’m sure you will like! ———>>>

two nights ago, i had a weird dream. there was a reunion for ateneo de davao graduates of 2006. i was entering the roxas gate when a spotlight coming from the covered court followed me as i walked in. i saw people saying their "his" and "hellos" to their old mates but i could not find even one familiar face around me. so i proceeded to the covered court decorated with red and white curtains and dim lights. it actually felt like prom night. i tried to look for my old classmates in the crowd, but no one was there. as i was trotting my way to the center where empty tables were set, a big, excited voice announced my arrival. "let us welcome our dear schoolmate, STRAWBERRY!", it said. and everyone inside the venue clapped in unison. end.

it was weird because nobody else knows that i’m strawberry except for my close high school friends and the great MC4A. i once told my classmates to not call me that way. my reason was that only my close friends should know about that. it’s not really a secret, and not a big deal. but some just make fun of it that it loses its cuteness and uniqueness (mwahaha!sige, palag!).

that dream made me think. maybe it’s a good thing after all. that even if people  call me strawberry and think it’s funny, the name will not be forgotten for sure. at least they’ll remember me everytime they see strawberries in pictures, books, wherever. i know it will unconsciously bind us even after college. tsk tsk, ‘guess i’m missing everyone already. guys, how are you all doing?! though you aren’t the most affectionate and appreciative classmates, you’re talented and smart! i hope we all succeed in all our chosen career paths!

I was ten when I first saw you. A child with pretty eyes, cute nose, and beaming smile. At such age, you were my example of perfection. A modern prince breathed into life.

I watched you grow from a mischievous elf to a charming prince. I’ve seen you tumble, fall, and snore. I smiled at your silly pranks and laughed with your naughty jokes. We even played together like young lovers in the meadow. You held me, and I clung to you. It was simply a fairy tale made true.

As we got closer and closer through the years, I struggled to control my feelings. Your daring moves brought me fear of intimacy. I panicked when you sat beside me, and frenzied when you touched my hands. The thought that I might have read wrong messages from your actions. The fear that you were just playing one of your foolish games. The too-good-to-be-true feeling through the good times. It all formed a labyrinth in my mind. I was circling the dark alleys like a crazy mouse. A whirling motion dizzied me, until it came to a sudden stop. Everything I held most dearly seeped through my hands.

You got busy with your affairs, and I with my own. And I saw it coming. Two shadows parted like birds freeing from an imaginary captivity.

************************************************************************************************

I wanted to tell you how I felt before. But every time I tried, my tongue tangled like a knot. You once said you liked me more than just a friend. And so I waited for you to say the definite words that will conclude it all. I am still waiting, in fact. Waiting when you will tire out chasing damsels and having dirty fun. I don’t care how much you drink and smoke. I will accept you with my welcoming arms because I know just the comfort you need.

I will wait until you realize that it is only in my arms that you fit best. I will wait until that day when you see how badly I am bleeding. Until you know how much I need someone to cover and heal the wound you lashed in my heart.

************************************************************************************************

For sure, you will cause me countless heart breaks and aches. In every love affair, probably I will be crying a minute or two. But I will not lose hope. I will be praying that you be my first, and I, your last.

I hope you will have the chance to read this. But then, you may not know this is meant for you. Someday you will. But now, I think I will be contented with hurting and longing from that lost love that I never really had.

It has been four years now since I last glimpsed at your beautiful face. For me, you are still the most beautiful being I have ever set eyes on. And you will stay in my heart as my first love. My "gugmang giatay"!

***You Are 44% Abnormal***

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom’s basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/howabnormalareyouquiz/

***You Have Your Sarcastic Moments***

While you’re not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge.
In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead!
And although you do have your genuine moments, you can’t help getting your zingers in.
Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it’s more likely they think you’re hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/howsarcasticareyouquiz/

***You Communicate With Your Eyes***

When you say, "I’ll believe it when I see it" - you really mean it.
For you, what you see is a lot more important than what you hear.
You don’t take someone’s words at face value. You judge people by their facial expressions, body language, and appearance.
You tend to be quiet, but when you talk, you tend to make eye contact and describe things in colorful detail.

How Do You Communicate?
http://www.blogthings.com/howdoyoucommunicatequiz/

***What Your Face Says***

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced.

Overall, your true self is reserved and logical.

With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatdopeoplethinkofyourfacequiz/

***Your Dosha is Pitta***

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor.
You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader.
Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways.
But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical.

With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you

In love: You are picky but passionate

To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

What’s Your Dosha?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourdoshaquiz/

***You Are Mexican Food***

Spicy yet dependable.
You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindoffoodareyouquiz/

***What Your Soul Really Looks Like***

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It’s easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are not a very grounded person. You prefer dreams to reality. For you, it’s all about possibilities.

You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you’re a bit full of yourself.

Your near future is all about change, but in very small steps. The end of the journey looks far, but it’s much closer than you realize.

For you, falling in love is all about the adventure and uncertainty. You can only fall in love with someone who keeps you guessing.

Inside the Room of Your Soul
http://www.blogthings.com/insidetheroomofyoursoulquiz/

exactly a week ago i visited a dentist for a tooth extraction… my doctor was friendly, pretty and sexy… she used to be my schoolmate in high school… she was a senior and i was a freshman… funny how i used to imagine her being impregnated right after high school graduation… yeah, i once did… well, she was not really the wild type but she used to look so innocent and gullible… but now she’s a successful and beautiful dentist… i feel happy for her… in fact i am inspired by her… she now has her own family– a good-looking hubby and cute baby… congrats doc elaine!

It all started in our Development Communication class…

Mr. P. Orcullo: Kinsa’y taga-Toril diri?

Juan & JP: Si Oje! Sir, si Oje!

Mr. P. Orcullo: (pointing at me) O, ikaw! what is the difference between Toril and Davao? between rural and urban lifestyle?

Oje: Ha? Sir, dili man ko taga-Toril… nag-"board" lang man ko didto!

Classmates (in unison): Ha?! Layua ato oi! Nag-board ka pa!

everyone was laughing hysterically… and i thought, "kailan pa naging funny ang pagbo-board sa toril?… haaay, you all have no idea!" … just so you’d all know, we’re moving out, again, and in to another BOARDING HOUSE today … no worries, i’m already used to this setting since i have been traveling even before i came out to the world. i was conceived in digos city, then my parents moved to malita davao del sur. and i was born here in toril, davao city. i also experienced living in compostela valley… my father had to work in banaybanay, davao oriental so we lived there for about 2-3 years. he worked for the cojuangcos who were sought after by the npa after the marcos reign… delikado daw so we had to move to darong, sta. cruz sa place ng mama ko… nag-aral ako dun ng elementary… nag-high school sa toril… at nag-college sa downtown davao… then we moved to doña rosa, toril 2 years ago… at ngayon, sa kabilang sulok na naman ng toril kami lilipat… sanay na nga ako mag-hakot at mag-impake… haay, may sarili naman kaming bahay sa darong pero we have a problem with my drunkard lolo who lives next door… ‘pag naglalasing yun nagiging action-packed ang araw namin… may habulan, saksakan, bugbugan… gusto nya yatang patayin ang mga tao sa paligid nya… galit sya sa mundo, yun daw yun… hindi kami ang sinasaktan nya kundi mga kainuman at kapitbahay nya… in the end, sya rin naman ang nasusugatan… ilang beses na nga ‘yong tinaga ng itak ng kaaway niya… and we had to bring him to the hospital all the time… sometimes i’d wish he dies (pero binabawi ko rin ha! love ko rin yun kahit papano) so we could all go back to darong and live a peaceful life, as opposed to our nomadic state now… ang mahal magrenta ng bahay, and we always have to adjust to new neighbors… nakakainis talaga… kung bakit kasi hindi ako nananalo sa lotto para makabili naman kami ng malaking bahay sa tuktok ng samal island… kung sabagay, hindi pa ako tumataya… hay, makataya na nga!